Does grocery shopping with your kids exhaust and frustrate you?  What if I told you it doesn't have to be that way?

With the right mindset and strategies grocery shopping can be a truly wonderful activity to do together as a family--something you all look forward to!

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Let's do real life WITH our kids.  Want an age-by-age guide to teaching chores and practical life readiness? Grab it here.

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Transcript

Hi Friends, I want to talk about something today that was a bit of a stress point with me when I was a new mom. And that is going to the grocery store with your kids. Now, nowadays, most stores have a pickup or delivery option. But that's not always a possibility. Sometimes you still have to go into the store in person. And I actually still do most of the time, because I like to be the one who picks out my produce. And I don't like when other people come up with substitutes. Like, for instance, there was this one time I need hydrogen peroxide, for laundry, and someone gave me antibiotic cream, which was obviously not going to work. That was the most out there substitution. But I really liked to have control over the things that are going into my car and be able to make those spur of the moment decisions and substitutions. The other thing the store I get the best prices at doesn't have a pickup option. So it's one of those things where it really saves my family like 30% on our groceries when I go to the cheaper store, and get it done myself. And believe it or not, I really just enjoy going with my kids. I've learned some things along the way. And now even though it used to be really horrible, I have found that it's actually a really fun family outing we look forward to on grocery day, the kids are really excited and eager to go. See doing real life stuff with our kids is just such a great way to build connection with them and teach them real world skills. And I want to teach you a secret to the mindset you have to have when you do it. It has to be more about the time you spend with them. And teaching them the skills than about actually getting the job done perfectly or having everyone be on their best behavior. It's not a test, it's an experience and a learning opportunity. So if you go in expecting that things are not going to be perfect. Most of the time, it's a lot easier to just roll with whatever happens. And going shopping with your kids can go so many different ways. It can be delightful, or they might have meltdown after meltdown and bicker with each other the whole time. So it's super helpful to adjust your expectations and keep a good sense of humor.

My five year old has the hardest time walking past anything pretty without begging me to put it in the cart. Already had a purple waffle maker recently. And we don't need a waffle maker. But she's obsessed with everything that's purple. So she was having the hardest time that I was not going to buy this purple waffle maker for her. But I like to think of this as practice for her to learn some impulse control. This means I go in already expecting her to have a couple of times of getting upset and having to hold a limit, you know saying no, and sticking with it. But doing that with empathy. So the first thing you need to do you need to prepare, make sure you and everyone else has had a snack that you're going to go at a good time of day where nobody's overtired, I found morning grocery trips are much smoother than afternoon and evening ones just because I think my kids have more patience and calm reasoning skills at the beginning of the day. But you know, you have to figure out what is the best time of day for your particular family might be right after naptime. If you've got little kids, that can often be a good time. It's also helpful if you plan your route through the store or use the same route every time a shopping experience that is going to be under 30 minutes is going to go way better than one that takes an hour. So when you plan your list sorted by area, like have your dairy, have your bread heavier, you know, produce all listed together so that you can be strategic and efficient as you go through and your kids will learn the route if you take the same route every time and they like knowing what to expect once they can kind of anticipate that you might find they're even starting to lead the way to the next thing and saying, Oh mom, it's time to get the cheese when you hit the dairy section. Now, I will just say I don't really try to do grocery stores when I've got a newborn, anyone under three months. And I really minimize doing it with three to six month olds. Because of a couple things. First chances are good, they're still going to want to eat for an hour while you are at the store. And it's just not the most convenient place, especially if you have like a toddler to because they don't want to wait around for the baby to eat. And I also really personally don't like to take babies until they can sit unassisted in the cart, and are really showing interest in everything and eating less frequently. So that's usually around like the seventh eighth month point where it starts to get a lot smoother. I will put a baby in a carrier on me if I need to do a grocery trip. But in general, that's a time of life where for just a few months, I'm okay with trying to figure out something that's a little more convenient or asking my husband to do the grocery run. So after you've planned your route, you've made your list and you've decided how you're going to make this efficient. The next thing to do is to set your expectation

Students with the kids. Before we go in, I like to have a little pep talk, I remind everyone about using their walking feet and their indoor voices and to ask me before they touch something, then I also tell them to be on the lookout for their special thing. And our family, everybody gets to pick one special snack for the week, they have to share it with everyone else, but they get to pick it and they look forward to having that choice and ownership of the experience. And they like knowing they're gonna walk away from the store with at least one thing they love. So even if mom's making terrible yucky meals with lots of vegetables that they hate throughout the week, they know that they have their special snack to look forward to. And the experience is really helpful for them. My son usually likes to choose things like great fruits, and my girls will choose things like muffins, or pretzels or apples, they get one thing each. And the biggest thing I found that helps with kids to end up is to find ways to let them be contributors like true helpers. So I like to give them each one or two items to remember and remind me of and this helps to keep their minds occupied and helps them to focus and again to feel like a contributor and build their confidence. Now let's talk about if you have a kid with something like sensory issues, one of the things that can help is heavy work. So let that kid push the cart, or carry a gallon of milk or whatever feels like the right weight to them. And it can really help them with self regulation. And so many families have kids with sensory issues. So I think this is like almost every family has at least one kid who has a struggle, try the heavy work. If you have a baby or a toddler in the cart, give them something to hold. A crinkly bag of pretzels can be really entertaining, or you can tie a toy to the handlebars so it doesn't keep getting dropped. You can make all of this a fun and interesting learning experience, you know, things I like to do, I like to teach my kids to test fruit for ripeness. And, you know, check the salad greens for wilts. And we have lots of conversations about things like seasonal foods. And comparing prices, it's a great opportunity to show them how to compare unit prices or generic name brands and look for good deals. And as we hit each area of the store, I asked each kid about their items they're supposed to remember, one of the other things you can do if you have someone who's a budding reader, put them in charge of crossing things off the list.

It gives them practice finding the word on the page and keeps them entertained at the same time.

Then when you get to the end, have everybody help load the groceries onto the belt at the register. If you've got a little kid that can sit in the main part of the cart and reach a little easier. It's amazing how quickly it can go with a lot of little helpers. I like to have my kids take turns using the credit card in the machine too. Because then they really enjoy having that as their special thing if it's their week. Now, one point of challenge that some grocery stores have and ours does is it does not bag, they don't bag the groceries for us. So here is what we do for that. I actually don't bag the groceries until we get to the car, I keep my bags in the car and I get all the kids buckled in with a snack. Then, while everyone is happily munching away, I unload the groceries from the cart into the bags in the trunk. It used to stress me out so much to do that in the store. Because at that point, everyone was at the tail end of their patients. So switching to doing this once everyone was in the car, and having a much needed snack really was a game changer for me on it. Then the last thing I like to do is I'd like to say a prayer of thanksgiving for all the good food God has provided. We do this as a family as we're starting to drive away. And I think it helps keep perspective that groceries are a privilege that groceries are a gift. They're not a guarantee. And there's something we should be grateful for grocery shopping with your kids can really be a lovely experience. But if you have one kid in particular who is struggling, sometimes it can help to go with just that one child a few times for some special one on one time and practice. And you'll probably see their behavior improve with that extra attention, you'll see their confidence grow, which can really help to, again, just keep perspective that you're bringing them for their sake, as much as you already get the groceries. It's about being together and learning and a good sense of humor goes a long way. I used to be mortified when my kid would cry about No kidding, candy or something. But now I just hug them and I think about how cute and little they are that this is such a big deal to them. And usually people around are some sort of mixture of amused and sympathetic. I've had so many people come up to me and say how they have kids or grandkids the same age or remember when their kids were that little and how much

They miss those days. And they're generally so encouraging. So don't worry about it, you know, just be there with your kid love on them. Now if you'd like to keep going with teaching your kids how to help with chores and other practical life skills, I have an age by age guide linked below to help you get started. I hope this episode has been helpful and that your next grocery shopping experience goes a little bit better